The Swan
by Sheryl's Sphere
Summary: The Swans have skeletons in their closet and two of them are seeking revenge against the arresting officer Swan. Bella suffers and survives a brutal rape. While she copes with her scars, she meets fast talking, charming Edward Cullen. She believes meeting Edward is the best thing that has ever happened to her, or is it? Come join Bella as she journeys to find her destiny.
1. Change For A Dollar

Chapter One Change for a Dollar

The driver's weather-beaten hands ripped open the rear passenger door! Helplessly my wretched and tortured body flung out backwards into his clammy, sweat covered arms. Again, I heaved! Another gush of bile splattered all over my horribly defiled nakedness. The roughness of his palms dug into the soft pits of my underarms. When his grip found purchase, he gave me a brutally painful yank. Before my brain registered the movement, I could feel the tear of my flesh. Fragments of rock, dirt and glass, now were ripping and slicing the skin from my blood soaked posterior. He was dragging me in a fast and furious frenzy over the rough asphalt pavement. My heart was pounding with the force of a jackhammer. Acute panic set in and a mind staggering level of fear sent waves of piercing fire through my very core. It was the kind of fear that seared every raw nerve ending and left your vital organs in suspense of their own survival.

_With precision timing, Seth's immortal hands shot faster than twice the speed of light under Bella's body. He had to provide some protection from the dangerous shards embedded in the worn out street beneath her. The crushing force and pressure he exerted effortlessly pulverized the piercing fragments of glass and stone asphalt. He could do no more than this. He would do no more than this. It is forbidden that a Guardian drastically interfere with tangible elements relegated to the physical realm. He could not cross that line and he would not disobey his orders._ _Seth's anciently strong valiant features burned with righteous indignation as he glared defiantly into the sinuous face of his enemy, once a brother, now one of the fallen. Seth was beyond furious. It took every holy fiber in his being to restrain himself against the rage he now felt. No matter how hard it was to do, obediently, he allowed a moderate volume of weaponry in the gravel to invade the protective covering of skin that contained the soul of this mortal girl that was his entrusted. The aluminous glows emitted through the palm of his hand forbid the most horrendous pangs of pain from intrusion into the vessel he was assigned to protect. The sharpest of elements would fail to inflict any intentional fatal mortal wounds. Yet, there was a large amount of debris that would still cause her agonizing pain. With his free hand he sheltered her head in the cradle of his arms, right where it had been throughout the duration of this night's vicious battle. _ _Cias's jagged razor sharp teeth snarled through his curled back lips at Seth and a blast of black smoke filled with sulfur and acid poured through his nostrils. He screeched and howled at the feeble attempts to thwart her impending fate. How dare this guardian presume to defy him, he was a Destroyer. Easily after tonight, a promotion most assuredly would be in order and Cias hoped that his gallant efforts would earn him the second highest ranking position within the demonic forces that presided over the stronghold in Forks! Cias could smell a sweet and easy victory in the air! She couldn't survive this level of an attack. He'd make sure of it. _ _Cias truly was one of the most wickedly vile and evil spirits of violence in the entire region. He defiantly sneered in the face of Bella's guardian warrior angel, Seth, "You limited pathetic coward! Why do you persist in countering my every move? Her life is mere forfeit." Cias growled and suddenly snapped his head to the right to turn his attention back to the driver. He vehemently hissed into his ear, "Show no mercy, feel the exhilaration of revenge and leave her to die!" The guttural sound of hatred resounded in his raspy throated laughter. Cias hovered over the shoulder of the driver and toyed with pressing a talon or two into the central core of the driver's brain. His blood ran cold and the feeling of it empowered the driver. There was no remorse, no sense of compassion, only pure fiendish delight as he rose and puffed up his chest with pride. Pure exhilaration raced through his veins as he indulged the Destroyer's temporary control over his thoughts and actions._  
Approaching midnight, the cool night air dipped to a brisk fifty two degrees. It was definitely what I would describe as _fresh_. As the first gust of wind lashed around me like the tip of a leather whip, the sudden exposure slapped hard against my bare skin. My entire sensory system was thrust into overload. It felt as though my arms were being pulled out by the socket as he hauled my frail body over bumps and gravel like I was a hefty trash bag.

Within moments, my savage transport delivered a deep rip to my raw flesh. It was already barely intact. I couldn't think straight, I was paralyzed with fear and reeling from the pain. I silently prayed as the whimpering sounds from my lips grew weaker.

Where were we going? Where was he dragging me? Every fiber of my being knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that the end was fast approaching. I don't know how far he had lugged me over the road and through the graveyard when he finally came to an abrupt halt. He released me, and my dead weight landed with a thick muted thud. My battered body was dumped onto a patch of recently turned earth. Usually I love the smell of freshly tilled soil, this was different. The scent of death, is this a grave? How befitting a place to haul my soon to be carcass. "_Save me Lord_," was barely a conscious prayer that my soul cried in anguish.

_As soon as the driver released the body, Seth fluidly rose and stood guard before her to his full height of ten feet. He was situated directly between Cias whose stature was solid and a foot shorter in height, they were giants compared to the driver who for a man at six feet was average, and tiny, frail little Bella who was only five feet tall and sprawled on the ground lying flat on her back. _

_A piercingly pure white light sliced through the air. Reinforcements at long last had arrived. As instantaneous as the God speed of light, and in a movement so blindingly fast it would have looked like a blur, Seth reached for the sword in his sheath and pulled out a blade of blazing fire. Her prayer, her small wordless prayer had dispatched a mighty force of aid. Suddenly, and as surely as lightning flashes from the east to the west, a peel of thunder rolled from the tip of his drawn fire hewn sword. "Now!" he cried with a mighty trumpeted voice, and a powerful band of three gallant warrior angels appeared blindingly and brilliantly on the scene. They immediately surrounded the girl. Quill the Righteous was the chief warrior angel. Aiden the Avenger and Embry the Blessed accompanied Quill on this rescue mission. Quill ordered his team into formation and the impenetrable angelic hedge surrounded Bella. She was frail, young and small, but she was a beloved little servant to be of the Most High God. _

"_Finish this Cias!" Seth ordered. "Remove your presence and these men from this place. She is not to suffer any further infliction. Your plans for her will not prevail you vile creature of the damned and banished! Be done with this, take your weak puppets and be gone before I storm this stronghold tonight," Seth shouted and spat in the hideous face of his foe. _

_Looking into the eyes of not one but four mighty warriors, Cias conceded that he would not be able to see this self-orchestrated mission through to final victory tonight. He directed his reply to Seth. "You have this battle." Cias sneered and wiped the slimy slobber from his teeth. You worthless worm, serving the Lord of the Hosts, mark my words well… this war is far from over. She will never be useful to Him. She will not develop her gift and she will never fulfill her purpose. She will not escape the doom that awaits her. You will fail Seth and she will never be of use to Him, why not cut her loose and rid yourself of this tedious assignment? Come now, are you not a higher ranking warrior? Aren't you the least bit insulted over being assigned to protect such a pitiful frail being?" Cias menacingly hissed and Seth could feel his wrath building to the point of explosion! How dare he!_

"_Enough!" Quill cut in and roared. He directed his gleaming steel blue eyes into the face of the driver, and with an explosive voice that reached the ears of the humans soul, he declared, "Hail puppet, speak words of finality, complete actions for this moment of conclusion and flee this place in fear for your immortal soul. I entreat you to show mercy and snip these strings of control from your mind for it is you that will surely die if you do not heed my words! Turn from your hatred and seek the one true Savior and reject this liar that promises you satisfaction and revenge in these deeds of death. Finish this now and be done. Hastily retreat as it is so ordained or I will cut through this veil that protects your eyes from the realm that presses upon you." _

"You little piece of …!" the driver cut his own self off, and his guttural voice screeched. "It's nothing personal _honey_." he smirked while wiping his hands off on his pants.

"I… I …don't … know … what… you… you…mean," I slurred the words together through blood and spit. Glancing up at him, seeing him hovering over me, flooded my heart with a fresh wave of fear and utter disgust. I tried to move my pounding head to the side, away from the sadistic face that loomed above me. That one simple movement took every ounce of my rapidly depleting energy. I would not have given a nickel for my life; I just wanted it all to be over.

"Huh." he huffed. Walking around me, he fell into a crouch and snatched my chin up between his thumb and forefinger and held it firm forcing me to look him in the eye. His sour breathe washed over my face and I tried hard not to jerk away. Then deliberately he took his other hand and pressed two of his leathery fingers against my busted and swollen lips. He uttered the name I feared above all names, as he softly whispered "_Charlie Lips_."

_Seth was losing patience with this man. His blazing eyes zeroed in and he trained his sword at the driver's heart, not to bring harm, but to hold him at bay. Cias glared into the face of his opposition and hissed in an evil demonic voice of control once again into the ear of the driver, "Hastily now, order her silence should their attempt to save her somehow succeed and make her lowly form the cursed surface beneath the dung of cattle upon your retreat." Cias threw back his head and howled blasphemously towards the heavens._

Instantly he dropped my chin and stood back up and took two steps back. He reached into his pocket and I heard coins jingle. He tossed two quarters into my face and hissed. "Keep the change, _honey_." "Just remember silence is golden, I know where you live, you remember that now, should you happen to survive tonight. Remember it well, that is, unless you want to see me again. Next time it won't be under such pleasant circumstances." he sneered and threw back his head in monstrous laughter.

I'm sure that mere moments had passed, but it felt like hours. I didn't realize how tightly I had been holding my eyes shut until I started seeing little spots. I willed my eyes to flutter open and blinked repeatedly until finally I forced them to fix on the clump of dirt next to my face on the cold dew dampened ground. The clear night sky was moonless. There was not an inch on my limp sprawled body that wasn't writhing in the most acute, hell spawned pain. It was more than any human should be allowed to suffer. I sincerely thought my short fifteen year old life would make its' final curtain call that very evening. Truth be known, I would have welcomed death with open arms at that moment to arrive and rescue me. No one else was coming to save me, this I was sure of.

The driver appeared to be the saner of my two assailants. I found him to be the most sadistic and brutal. Before he left me there to die, in a final act of degradation, he hosed my face, chest and stomach with a sickening gush of warm sour urine. There was a satisfied _huff_ and I heard him zip up his pants. I felt the ground tremble beneath me with every stomp of his feet. He was running back to his car and his lunatic buddy.

The multi colored nineteen seventy-six Ford LTD stood ominously on the curb. I turned my head and strained to see what was going to happen to me next. It was too dark, I saw nothing. I heard the car door slam shut and the engine roar to life. There were the muffled sounds of profanities, and finally I heard the tires squeal and spin out down the road and away from me. Then… there was the sound of … _silence_. I lay there, bleeding, torn and shivering without a shred of clothing, in a desolate graveyard on a dead end road, just on the outskirts of town.

With no energy left to find the will to breathe in and out, I have no idea how I managed to rock from side to side and hold myself while core deep sobs ripped through my battered chest. Oh Lord, it was true, I needed no more explanation. Those two words, _Charlie Lips_, vaguely answered a WHY. Was this some kind of a really sick joke, what did they think? Like my life even mattered to _Charlie Lips_, the sheer irony.

_Aiden and Embry stepped forward and trained their swords and their full attention towards Cias. The demon acquiesced his time for departure and instantly, the dark murderous demon withdrew his stance and vanished without a trace through time and space in retreat to wait for a more opportune moment. Seth and Quill fell to either side of where she lay trembling in fear. Quill inclined his face towards her ear while Seth swathed her in his iron grip and rocked her spirit to his chest. All Bella would feel at this moment, all that she could feel would be some small measure of calm, enough to give her hope and some strength. _

_Quill spoke gently, "Bella, beloved daughter of your Devine Deliverer, rise and do not be afraid. Hear me child, you are worth more than rubies, more than gold and you are loved far more than your heart dares to imagine. You have a Devine purpose to accomplish. You will become a powerful soldier on bended knee. Peace and strength be given to you from the Lord our Master. We must go and you must live for there is much yet to be done."_

It felt like hours had passed since I decided to stop at the poorly lit, long since closed hardware store for a coke. Odd, how the most inconsequential of decisions impact a life's trajectory in the blink of an eye. Before I left work, I had the briefest fleeting thought to get a soda pop before I clocked out for the evening to head home. It has taken me years to learn to listen to that still small voice. The same voice that was urging me not to leave work without a soda; I wish I had listened that night.

My first job, working at the local Burger Pit wasn't a lucrative occupation, but it gave me my own spending money and in my home, every penny counted. The Pit was located on the north end of what was known as the teenage parade route, or better known as the "cut town" scene. What else was there to do in a town with a population of just a little over three thousand? Seriously, there was no movie theater or skate rink or any other form of entertainment options. No wonder teen pregGrancy and drugs were rampant.

"Forks", the towns greeting billboard read, "Matchless for Beauty and Hospitality". Huh… Forks was matchless indeed! Its beauty was skin deep and relegated to describe the streets of dogwoods and azaleas in full bloom during the spring. The little southern spot on the map was beautiful. However, upon deeper examination, certain pockets of citizens were simply infested with the Payton Place bug, and "_hostility"_ would have been a better adjective to use.

I'm sure everyone didn't feel like I did about my home town, but at fifteen, my welcome wagon was directly linked to what immediate family I belonged to, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I was a misfit in my own "so called" dysfunctional household, and no one cared enough to look past the rubbish to see me for the person I was inside. Always, people seemed to lump me into the same mold as my social outcast stepfather and mother. I was different, I was ashamed of the violence I endured in my home life and I was guilty by association or rather relation in this case. It didn't seem as though I could win for losing.

During a typical Friday night, a car load of kids could average twenty five to thirty laps or more at an insanely slow creepy pace from The McDonalds on the north point of town to the Burger Pit. It was the place to see and be seen. Monday at school would bring a fresh wave of gossip about who was with whom, and OMG did you see what so and so was doing with you know who? As I said, "_It was a typical Friday night for Forks - Washington_."

Looking back, I think the only reason the lunatic's car stuck out in my mind was due to the fact that it had obviously been wrecked and had been repaired with parts from other vehicles. It was screaming for a decent paint job. The car was a basic green for the seventies time period with a red driver door and blue front fender. From the circular drive of the restaurant, the two guys looked friendly enough as they peered through the glass windows of the car at me from time to time. I couldn't really tell though. I didn't give it a second thought.

I lived ten minutes to the far southern side of town in a new housing development. Home, if you could call it a home, was a depressing place for me. I knew a lot of kids my age that hated their home just as much, but mine were for _very different reasons._

At fifteen, I legally was not allowed to drive after dark, but being the step daughter of a cop who I thought of as a true _PIG _had some rare advantages. I was to go straight home after work, no stopping, no cutting town, just straight home.

If there could be any comparison to explain my life, it could be compared to living with one foot in a loving wonderful world while the other was firmly planted in hell. My grandparents were somewhat affluent, and I experienced a very different life when I was submersed into theirs. At home, we were dirt poor, not that being poor was what I was ashamed of, it was the hatred and bitterness that filled the atmosphere and poured like poison from every crevice of each room. Hatred bled from the walls, outlandish, over the top behavior was common place for the adults entrusted to raise me. "They" were _Christians_. If that was their brand of Christianity, they could keep it. I loved Jesus and to me that was all that mattered.

Thank God for my Gran! I realize how lucky I was to have her. My maternal grandmother was my rock, a mother to me, my provider and my protector. The showering of love she gave me was an outward manifestation of the love of a savior. She was a loving gift to me from God. She knew my life was tough and she struggled against my mother to ease my suffering as best she could under the circumstances. Opposition had existed between mother and daughter for as long as I could remember. My mother bitterly resented Gran for many undefined reasons that defied rational thought. If the words that came from my mother's mouth were any indication of what was abundant in her heart, it was sure to be black and filled with strife. My Gran never uttered a derogatory word to me against my mother. She would always remind me that I was called to love unconditionally, a gift that was never afforded me.

At fifteen, I was given one of the greatest gifts ever bestowed upon me when I got my first car. Gran slyly bought herself a "fishing vehicle" for the lake and "let me borrow it". She was a saint, who did she think her story was fooling? She lovingly provided me with the one piece of freedom I had ever tasted. My first car was indeed a horse and chariot that could carry me as far away from the gates of hades as I would dare go.

It'll only take a minute and my throat was parched with thirst, I thought. My burnt orange Chevy _Chuvette_, as I affectionately called it, pulled into the dark parking lot of Graham's Hardware store. I planned to buy a drink from the machine that glowed with the only light anywhere in sight. I left the car door open and engine cranked as I stepped out into the chilly night air.

I had scrounged exactly forty cents, the price of a canned coke and listened as the coins plunked to the bottom of the holding tin. It was highway robbery, considering the price for one gallon of gas was only sixty five cents. I tapped the selection bar and nothing happened, I tapped again and nothing. Then I began to pound it with a furious frenzy. I didn't have more change, my mouth was bone dry and as luck would have it, the dollar changer machines wouldn't be invented for a while yet to come.

_Cias screeched in delight as he uttered instructions for a dark act of violence into the mind of the driver and lunatic. His mouth watered at the thought of his promotion and just how easy this victory was going to be. There is only Seth with her, this guardian will not have the power to overcome me and she will not overcome two male perpetrators, Cias thought to himself._

Just then car lights flashed my back to cast a shadow and silhouette on the building briefly. I heard the vehicle pull up into a spot behind me, next to my car and right in front of the vending machine with the most deafening heavy metal rock I had ever heard. Funny, the only thing I cared about was satiating my thirst; there was no feeling or sense of impending danger.

The driver rolled his window down and called to me, "Hey honey, what's your name? You look like you need some help." He must have been in his early to mid-twenties with dark wavy hair and medium build, rough cut. He wasn't particularly cute, and it was very dark. The shadows were predominately casting a cloak around his features. Carelessly, I strode over to the window of his car and smiled at the driver and I blushed hot pink at the sound of anyone calling me "honey". Not that you could tell in the pitch of night.

_Cias was on a mission alone and without backup and without permission. Prince Aro will be pleased to see the diligent patience I've exercised in plotting her ambush and demise. Cias dug his crooked, slimy talon appendages into the skull of the driver and his buddy who was playing possum in the back seat. Their blood ran cold and the surge of power, cold and calculating raced through their veins. _

Unknowingly, I had just engaged a most dangerous predator, and casually replied, "Hi, I'm Bella Swan. Do you by chance have change for a dollar?" "The machine took my last bit of change and I'm really thirsty."

He shot me a wicked grin and said, "Sure thing, honey". He began to fumble around in his pockets for change. I noted that the dashboard lights cast a yellowish orange reflection on his face as I tried to make out his features and tried to place if I knew him or not.

"Sorry honey, I thought I had some change, but, you know I'm pretty sure my buddy back there has enough." "Hey, sleeping beauty, wake up!" he boomed over his shoulder to his unconscious friend in the back seat. Obviously he passed out as his head was leaning against the rear driver's side window. "Hey, you friggin idiot, wake up! You got change for our new friend Bella so she can get something to drink?" There was some groaning and a string of foul explicatives. His head wobbled and he fell silent again. So much for that, I thought.

The driver whispered something to me and nodded his head toward his friend in what appeared to me a joke involving his passed out buddy. I didn't catch all of it, so I leaned in closer and asked him to repeat himself. As my head entered the interior space of his car, I caught a strong whiff and could smell the profuse odor of pot, and ripe body funk mixed with sweat and alcohol. He lifted a hand as if he was about to whisper in my ear and he abruptly grabbed a handful of my hair and jerked my head to the side. His other hand instantaneously drew a switch blade knife and slid the point of its edge over the silky skin of my neck. I froze in horror and watched as the rear seat corpse animated back to life. The lunatic flashed a hideously evil grin at me and flicked the switch of his own personal blade of torture.

In one fluid movement, the lunatic threw the back driver side door open and jumped out. He grabbed both my arms and wrenched them behind me, shoving a knee into my back, and inclined his self even closer to me. He was pressing his private parts against me. He sucked in a long sharp breath and turned my head so that he could lick the side of my face. The smell made me wench, it reeked of stale tobacco, alcohol and rotten teeth. My stomach heaved in protest. Hell, my whole body was revolting in shivers that ran from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes.

_Cias howled in delight as the scene unfolded according to plan_.

The lunatic buddy maneuvered me and shoved me hard into the back seat. He snatched the door shut while my mind was beginning to reject the nightmare that I was being thrust into. As a knife was held at my throat, the car peeled out of the parking lot and flew with the speed of wind to the infamous _Dead Man's Curb._ It took only minutes; the road was nearly desolate leading to the cemetery. This was a place I most feared, a place where my life would end tonight.

Pulling off the shoulder of the road, we came to an abrupt stop. I heard the driver turn and he crooned to me, "_Lights, Camera, and Action_." The car lights were snuffed, the engine was cut and he got out of the car. He slowly approached the rear passenger door and pulled it open to make his grand entrance. He moaned my name and slithered into the seat on my right side and pulled shut the car door behind him.

_Cias thrust his sharp edged claws deeper into the drivers mind. The driver gave him complete control over his thoughts and actions without a question as to the rationale behind this burning hatred towards this girl and her stepfather. _

Most of the attack was a blur, but the vilest acts of the brutality were seared into the screen of my mind and would be the source of thousands of nightmares for the rest of my life. I was a naive, innocent virgin that had never even experienced a first kiss. I wasn't pretty, just ordinarily plain and awkward. I still had braces on and my blemish ridden face burned now with an adrenaline fueled horror, and pure unadulterated anger and hatred. Why me? Why me?

The driver laughed a menacingly wicked guttural sound and the lunatic pulled me backwards into his lap still with my hands clasped and a knife at my throat. My torso was pulled in the opposite direction by the driver who pawed at my shirt and with one clean rip, he tore it open. I gasped for air. My lungs burned as I sucked in the vile scents that swarmed my head.

His hands never ceased in movement. He yanked the buttons open on my jeans and when the last button yielded in protest, he grabbed the sides and yanked, tugged and ripped my pants down below my knees. He prepared to position himself in a haunch over me and I felt the lunatics hand grab a fist full of flesh while he slid the edge of the knife over my collar bone. He hissed and mumbled in my ear with another swipe of his flagellant tongue, "You're in for a bumpy ride, honey." "I can see all the spiders and snakes dancing in the sky." he chanted. His paranoia sent wave after wave of panic through my chest.

_Seth was right by her side. His shoulder length bronze hair blazed with holy light and he pressed in closer to Bella and put his arms around her shoulder to keep her head closely guarded and braced for both against what was to come. It has to happen, I know it does, it is a pivotal point in her life, but I still wish I could stop it in the first place. The Master knows best and this will work out to His Glory. In the meantime, I have my job to do, protect her life, keep her alive. _

The driver finished what was left of my lacy underwear with his knife and he jerked my jeans completely off and pried my legs apart to wedge his body between them. I don't even recall him pulling his own pants down, but here he hovered over me with the headiest stench. I recoiled from his closeness. I had never seen a man with his clothes off, and in the darkness only seeing flickers of movement and shadows, the impending assault was surely only moments away. "Do I smell a white lily or is that a red cherry ripe for the picking?" the driver smirked. "Hum, I can almost taste your ruby red blood."

I whimpered and tried to scream, but my sound was stifled by a hand clutching my throat and that hand was now trying to drive the essence of my life from my small insignificant frame. The lunatic wickedly hissed that he would slice my throat without so much as a second thought if I let go one more yelp. To prove his point, I felt the razor sharp edge of steel move to the center of my sternum and the pang of pain when he let the edge slice through a thin layer of skin. I could feel the warmth of my own blood trickle over my chest, up my collar bone, and drip off my shoulders. I wanted to mentally shut down.

In one movement, the driver plunged, ripping the sheath that separated me from the purity of childhood into the blackest form of deflowering any woman could experience. He let his sticky abdomen slide over my torso as I lay there frozen solid, unsure of what I should do. Self-preservation seemed to be pretty high on my priority list tonight, I couldn't fight and I couldn't scream. All that was in me wanted to die, wanted this to end, but the end was far from being near.

His breath was ragged and he leaned in to bite my tender flesh. There was nothing gentle about it, it was as if he was delighting in the sheer power he had over me, the power to make me cringe, make me cry, make me shake in terror. I didn't understand what was happening to my body in response and a detestable feeling washed through me. My body betrayed me in my darkest hour and I didn't understand what was happening.

When the driver lifted his head from tormenting me the lunatic would run the blade of the knife to scrape against the side of my tender and sore skin. The growl from his chest ripped through the core of my being as he raced to his own dirty satisfaction.

"Now it's my time to have some fun", the lunatic howled. The driver grabbed my torso and flipped me onto my stomach and my face landed in the lap of the lunatic and I could feel my hips being hoisted in preparation for another violating entry. The lunatic shoved my forehead backwards and I thought my neck would snap in half with the force. He unzipped his pants and grabbing the back of my head; he forced his self into my mouth.

_Merciful Father, was there no end to this torture for me_? I couldn't hold back the churn in my stomach any longer; it heaved and with it came a torrent of gall and acid. "You throw up on me you -itch and you die!" snarled the lunatic. I swallowed my vomit, which resulted in making me gag over and over again.

_Seth's illumination grew brighter_.

I had no idea what impalement would feel like, until the driver loathingly asked me "So, honey, you still thirsty? How about a coke and a smile?" and with that, he had found an empty two liter coke bottle in the floor board and he violently did the unthinkable. I could feel it tearing the walls within. Without pausing, he pulled my hips back and I felt the most intense pain ripping me yet again. This pain was staggering and I was nearly unconscious as my brain continued its' retreat from the reality of the darkest hell I would ever know.

The driver continued to viciously rape me and there was no ease in the movement, no release from the onslaught that brought with every measure, fresh waves of pain. The lunatic suddenly released my neck and withdrew himself. The vomit I had been holding back erupted in his lap and he slapped me with a staggering force. My head rattled. His eyes were wide, his blonde hair was greasy and pasted to his head, he was sweating profusely and now pointing at the floor board of the car and screaming "Snake, snake, get out there's a snake!"

Was it even possible that my fear could soar to yet another height? I hated snakes, I had nightmares about slimy slithering snakes and I involuntarily threw my entire body backwards in fear. The thrust of force I recoiled caused another surge of pain. The sudden velocity and shift in my position must have jolted the driver as he blasted the door open to the car and scrambled out, slamming it behind him. My back slumped against the rear passenger door, I grasped the bottle and pulled it out and the smell of my own blood took over and my mind slipped into a black well of nothingness for a few moments.

"Crap, you idiot, I told you to lay off the acid." I could hear them arguing through the hazy layers of my mind. The driver stammered back and forth, I guess debating what to do with me. Were there no snakes? Was the lunatic tripping on acid? _Oh dear Lord, please have some mercy on me was the silent plea from the inner most depths of my broken soul. Please spare my life, please help me, please, God. Seth could feel the presence of God's provision growing closer._

The driver decided to dump me onto a freshly dug and covered grave. After I was sure they had left, my mind started to wander. I grabbed my sides and held them together and rocked myself and shivered. The only sound I could hear was the pulsating throb of my temples, and my heart beat pounding furiously out of my chest. I tried to collect my senses. I fought to not slip back into the black nothingness that was so inviting at this moment. I don't know how or why, but I managed enough coherencies and the will to sit up, look around and slowly get to my feet. Every muscle in my body protested against the movement. I ached in places I had not even discovered I had. I was naked, shivering and knew I had to put one foot in front of the other if I wanted to stay alive tonight.


	2. To The Point Of Breaking

Chapter Two To The Point of Breaking

_**The foreboding operational headquarters of Prince Alec the Destroyer was a torture chamber situation room. Every imp, every wicked apparition, and every menacing foul spirit would trade their right wing rather than step foot on the premises however it was a necessary evil. Two of Alec's lower ranking soldiers had returned from their latest assignment. The cold stone halls of the compound were the hub for trading information and forming strange and formidable alliances. **_

_**Demetri, a personal announcer and escort for all demons that wanted to gain an audience with the Prince was lingering in the main corridor awaiting his next reporters to arrive. Felix had just returned from a long assignment running perimeter duty and had learned of an unheard of revolutionist amongst their own rankings. Demetri and Felix both conferred in whispers over the small matter of a lone renegade Cias. **_

_**After much discussion regarding the events of recent the obvious speculation was beginning to rise to the surface. "What do you think the Prince will do with Cias when he finds out what he has done?" Demetri let go a low hiss and directed his inquiry to Felix. The entire underworld of Forks was abuzz with the news of his interference with a well-oiled plan that was already in place to combat any threat she could ever hope to possibly pose. **_

"_**Crown him fiend of the year, probably" Felix replied as he let the cutting words roll off his tongue and the gray sulfur smoke billowed from his mouth and nose. The two continued to walk down the long dark corridor towards the outer court yards as they continued their discussion.**_

"_**Care to make a wager?" Demetri turned and curled his lip as he growled the dare of odds at Felix. **_

"_**You're on! What are you proposing that we throw into the till?" Felix spat and the thrill of an easy victory and blood lust filled his nostrils!**_

"_**Escort duty. If I win, and the Prince rips Cias's miserable head off – you have to man my escorting duties for the next one hundred years, Demetri snarled.**_

"_**And if I win?" Felix inferred as he fixed his yellowy green eyes on Demetri in preparation of seeing the insubordinate Cias be duly rewarded even though he broke rank and acted without permission upsetting a solid iron clad plan. "If I win, you will take over my duty for the next one hundred years guarding the perimeter when he is promoted for doing the unthinkable!" Felix announced and jabbed a black talon into Demetri's chest. **_

_**Demetri rolled his fiendish stark white eyes balls around in his skull sunken head, like this was going to be a cake walk. **_

_**No sooner did they seal their unholy agreement with an iron clad clammy hand shake, and as if on cue, a surge of red glowing mist cut through mid-air like a knife. The portal of space was sliced in between Demetri and Felix as Cias materialized through the tear in the atmospheric fabric. The tension between the three perpetrators of violence flared immediately and was dangerously intense to say the least. **_

"_**Announce my arrival to Prince Alec at once!" Cias spat as he bore his arrogant glare right through Demetri. "What are you waiting for you rogue, I haven't all day, make haste!" **_

"_**Right this way most Exalted Cias or should I say Hail to the Chief, Prince Cias!" Demetri chortled with volumes of patronizing overtones of sarcasm.**_

_**In the large vacant space of the armory an unseen decorum menacingly filled the vast area presently unoccupied by humans. It was an invisible place to the physical realm, but very real nonetheless. The cavernous chambers stone walls dripped with the sour stench of decay. Rusted iron sconces lined the walls where mid-evil torches burned eternally night and day. Etched in a language unknown to this world, each stone bore the name of a citizen in Forks who fell under the domain of this dark sinister stronghold. Bella Swan's was one of them. These stones served to be more than name platruckds; they possessed an unholy ability to illuminate when the named bearer was involved with a member of the stronghold forces and engaged in an attack. The stronger the battle, the whiter the light would glow. Bella 's been blindingly bright and had been so for the past several hours, Alec had no explanation for it, it was not a part of the Zodial Malfeasants plan. She should have been home long ago where Cias could ignite another round of rage in Charlie Pig and direct him to find any little thing, no matter how irrational to use as an excuse to lash out at her. Something was wrong, there's been a deviation in action, but who would dare usurp the foundation of the Zodial Malfeasant? The thought was unheard of, no one wanted to be banished to the abysss before the appointed time. Who would be crazy enough to defy an age old iron clad policy and rule when it came to dealing with a human soul. **_

_**A reddish orange glow emitted through the cracks surrounding a great carved mahogany wooden door. As they approached it, there were the sounds of hushed hisses and murmurs. Demetri turned to Cias and sarcastically asked, "Have you had much success tonight in your assigned duties?"**_

"_**What would you know about success?" Cias spewed a spiral cloud of pungent odor that reeked of burning sulfur. **_

_**Demetri fought the urge to rip Cias's head off himself, but he held a straight face, grabbed the large rusted knocker in his hand and rapped on the door to Prince Alec's chambers twice and cleared his throat. **_

"_**Who dares to disturb me tonight?" Prince Alec's voice was sickeningly sweet and venomous. One moment it was dripping with sugar and honey when he wanted something, the next it was filled with fiery darts and poison. He was evil to the core and powerful enough to punish severely any spirit that crossed his path. "This better be good news or ELSE!" he shrieked.**_

_**Demetri looked at Cias, "It's your neck!" He pushed the door with a mighty shove and it swung open and slammed against the back stone wall. The loud clang resounded like the echoed clank of a bank vault. A small framed black cloaked figure that could have only been Jane slithered past them and out the door after delivering her full report to Prince Alec. The creature made no eye contact with Demetri or Cias. He merely hurried in his retreat to resume his duty post, which was the perimeter surrounding Forks Memorial Cemetery. **_

"_**Prince Alec, my apologies for the intrusion. Chief Cias appeared without announcement and entreats that he might converse with you at this very hour." Demetri indicated with an overly exaggerated roll of his hands and slight bow from his waste.**_

"_**Cias, do tell, exactly what is the meaning of this? Your report is not due for several days." Prince Alec demanded.**_

_**Cias gave a cursory glance and slight nod to Demetri and he stepped forward and bowed his head to his Prince. With his right arm still tucked at his abdomen, he straightened his razored spine and declared that he had a wonderful report to share and that he was sure the Prince would reward him for his brilliant endeavor. **_

_**Prince Alec stood from his dominion throne. Slowly he pulled the sides of his billowy blood red cape around the front of his body and gapped the space in mere nanoseconds between Cias and himself. Alec scrutinized Cias's demeanor and raised one eyebrow in utter disbelief of what he had just heard come from his lips. **_

_M_y feet gingerly stepped onto a carpet of small sharp edged pebbles and gravel. Painstakingly, I picked it up, only to subject the next foot to the same welcome the other had already received. My pace was brutally slow, between the violent shivering of my body and the painful arches of my footsteps; I began to make some progress. Everywhere I looked, I caught faint shimmers of light as if the tombstones were glowing only enough for me to not smack right into them.

I would not allow my over active imaginative mind to run away with me at this moment. A thousand ghosts, devils, vampires or the sort would have been a welcomed encounter to the one I had just experienced. The wind gusted and hit me to the core, my teeth chattered and I pushed myself to continue forward. I have never had a sense of direction and it seems to me a very astounding miracle that I made my way back to the main road. I'm sure I walked in circles for a while.

Eventually, I found my way and walked on the shoulder of the highway in the grassy area that still managed to send pangs of pain through the soles of my feet. I must have walked at an agonizingly slow pace, because it felt like hours had passed and I doubted I had made it even fifty yards. _**Seth wrapped his arms around her tighter as he thanked the Lord for dispatching help just at the perfect moment**__. _

Every breath was labored and it whooshed out of my chest in a heavy rasp. I wasn't sure how I was even moving. The goose bumps covered every inch of my skin and I could still feel trickles of blood dripping over every appendage. The darkness covered me as if to crush me from its weight.

My mind was reeling. Charlie Pig, what the H.E. Double hockey sticks? I could only imagine. I mulled it over and over in my thoughts, trying to make the pieces of the puzzle fit. There was nothing that clicked, nothing I knew for certain.

How was I going to keep this from my Mom? Worse yet, how was I going to keep this from him? My stepfather, the cop, the Charlie Pig I feared. I had to stop; I bent over to my knees and vomited again. My nerves were raw, inside out and my mind was screaming at me to keep moving and keep thinking. I was ice cold and numb with fear.

_**Embry turned to Seth, "Is she going to make it? She's lost a great deal of blood and the elements are so harsh tonight. She needs a provision or she will most likely perish before sunrise."**_

_**Seth nodded in acknowledgement of Embry's observation and in unison; they both began to speak to the Lord of Hosts. "Almighty King, our Lord … we make intercession tonight for your beloved Bella . We ask for a provision for her survival. She needs protection from the wind and cold and she needs a faster method to return to her transportation. Please grant our request so that we may guide her to the great provision from our Lord."**_

"_**It is done as you have asked." Came a reply in a voice that was ever present and its sound was a sound like no other. Embry and Seth nodded and thanked God for granting them a means to preserve her life.**_

It must be nearly one o'clock in the morning. Charlie Pig worked the eleven to seven shift and would already be at work. My Mom managed a little convenience store in the even smaller town of Portland about an hour from Forks. On a Friday night, she would not close till two o'clock in the morning and she wouldn't be home until around three or so. If, and that was a big if, I got home, I might have a little time to survey the damages and hopefully manage to get bandaged, cleaned up and in bed before she got home. I needed to escape having to hide or talk tonight.

Who were the two men that I had just encountered? They were very careful not to slip and say their name. All I knew was that Charlie Pig was connected. It still struck me funny to think of the idiotic nickname the local townsfolk of Forks had tagged on my stepfather. I think the nickname originated after he had all his teeth pulled and refused to wear his dentures. His reputation was well known around the area, something that impacted my friendships on a daily basis. I had a philosophy; ignorance and arrogance were a lethal mixture. I had my theories about what made him tick.

The stories Charlie Pig told me of his childhood, were sad and I knew there was no way he could have possibly escaped growing up without being as screwed up as I was. Impossibly sad, a child of the seventies, he was impoverished and raised in a home for children. In the orphanage the concept of love must have seemed a notion only afforded to those fortunate enough to have been born into a normal home with both mother and father. A misfortunate set of circumstances that deprived a child from having the advantage of knowing the type of love that could only exist in fairy tales. To him, there were no happy endings.

My Mom, she's a little more complex to figure out. Born in the late sixties during the Civil Rights Era, she was the first born daughter to the Alton Brigdan family. A family, that was by all rights pillars of their community. They owned vast acreage of timber and ran a large lumber yard and well respected in the Portland area. She grew up in a rural Victorian house. The house was filled with chatter from the lumberjack's wives that worked for the family as cooks, maids and nurse maids. She lived a life no less ordinary than most during her era.

To add to the shaping of her persona, Mom did suffer some set-backs, and as with anyone there are many factors that combine to create the makeup of a unique personality. I've mused over the course of events that would have shaped her into the woman she was today. There seems to be a point in time, where time froze for her. As I grew and matured, I seemed to surpass her mark of maturity. I began to notice her desire to be the center of attention and an inerrant belief that the world should revolve around her. After all, it does take one to know one. Exactly how far does the apple fall from the tree?

Sometimes, I felt as though our roles were reversed. Often times her stories would reflect the bitterness in her heart towards my Grandmother, the only grandmother I knew, the only one that I believed truly loved me in the whole world. There was an undercurrent between them. My Mom managed to show too much of her seriously misguided motivations and the scales would be forever tipped in my Grandmothers favor. My mother loathed her own Mother without any rational provocation.

Gran would be the only one I could trust, my only confidant, and my caretaker. I didn't dare share this pain with her, it would kill her. My mind kept wandering, thinking about my screwed up family.

I was making progress in my excruciating journey and I could now see the faintest flickering of light coming from a little white ill maintained shack still a good way into the distance.

_**Seth and Embry glanced at each other with smiles as bright as the morning sun, they knew God was good.**_

In the insanity of all the thoughts and pain my mind and body were trying to process, it suddenly dawned on me that I could be shot trying to get someone to the door. Ha, there was even more irony in this madness. The light inched closer and closer with each step I took and I found myself in conflict over do I take the risk to get help, would he make good on his threat? The battle raging in my mind rendered my body frozen, neither able to move forward or onward. Logically, I was lost, desperate to remove myself from my present venue. My eyes darted back and forth over the yard of the tiny dwelling. The shadows of varying shades of grey or black were playing havoc with my sense of direction and keeping the hairs on my neck standing straight up.

As I walked into the outer skirts of the yard area, I spotted a rusty bike leaning against the side of a lean-to shed. I couldn't be sure if it was in riding condition at this distance. There was a slight glow from the porch light that gave me somewhat better chance of surveying my surroundings. I was skittish at every sound. My heart was racing at an even faster pace as a thought was forming in my mangled mind.

I was careful to stay in the shadows and not walk into the direct light as I approached the shed and my feet relaxed on the powder cold dirt and sand that was free from jagged rocks and debris that had plagued every futile step taken to this point. Again, I allowed myself to drink in my surroundings and my eyes flickered with the faintest ray of hope. Hanging on a nail on the side wall was a very dirty, oily pair of camouflage overalls. I moved closer and reached out to pull the protection I so desperately needed off its hook and I slid my nearly frozen solid body into the coverings. It wasn't much better, in fact, if it were possible to feel colder, it did. I didn't care, it was protection, it was dusty, dirty, greasy and way too big, but I couldn't be happier with my find as if I had been handed a mink stole fur to swath my body inside. I moved to the next object of my attention, the bike. I squatted and felt the ripped flesh pull at my intact skin. My body reeled again from the pain of movement.

I had to keep going. I couldn't let the pain take over my mind, if it did, I would surely die. Why dying was anything that I even trucked so much to avoid considering the entire ball of unpleasant conundrums that made up the whole of my life, was beyond me.

The tires had air and the chain appeared to be intact. I grabbed the handlebars and guided it out of the shed and maneuvered into the dark shadows undetected. I thanked God for the small gift and vowed I would return it as soon as I could.

As soon as I made my way to the road and passed the house a little distance, I scraped every ounce of energy to mount the bike and began to feel the sting of all muscles crying in unison. Slowly in the dark, I made some progress. I wasn't peddling fast, but this saved my feet and helped me move more swiftly than I would walk at least. Within a moderately paced twenty minutes, I reached the junction to highway three-o-one. The highway that would lead me back to the hardware store where my truck was left. I had no way of knowing if it were still there; if they had moved it or exactly what awaited me.

_**Embry had been the one who helped Bella find the strength to climb onto that bike. He together with Seth helped her steadily peddle and maintain her balance. They had to get her out of here. She would be safe at home, Cias would be with Charlie Pig and there would be plenty of time to get her out of there and to safety before she had to interact with him again. Embry was sure this was something that Bella definitely was not prepared for. **_

_**Physically, Seth could have obliterated an entire building, but mentally, he was drained. **_

_**Never had he been so blind-sided. His battles before with Cias were always conducted on the **_

_**Home front, after all Cias was an assigned tormentor to Charlie Pig. He'd seen Cias in action **_

_**before, goading, driving, and pushing the rage onward to physical violence. How had this **_

_**happened? **_

_**He couldn't fathom what or how he had been allowed to abandon his assignment to venture off **_

_**and sink his talons into these two men. Never had he seen such a deviation from their Zodial **_

_**Malfeasant. **_

_**It was more than obvious that this wasn't about Charlie Pig, and it wasn't about these two men. This **_

_**was an outright attack, clearly aimed at Bella . Cias is a second class fallen warrior and a part **_

_**of the unholy horde assigned to enrage her stepfather, Bella is only a minor objective in the **_

_**scope of his mission. It's as if this demon had made this war with her personal somehow, but it **_

_**doesn't make sense. A minister of violence just doesn't go out on a limb like this. Why had the **_

_**Lord allowed this? Surely there must be something in all the ponderings Seth had missed. **_

_**Embry pulled out a folded piece of manna from the pocket in his robe and tore it in half. Holding **_

_**out a piece in offering to Seth, "Here, this is for you. A taste of heaven for your thoughts?" **_

"_**I just can't figure it out. Why all this tonight? What does Cias have to gain? I've seen plans **_

_**for most every type of human disaster possible over the past six thousand years and rarely have I **_

_**seen a leech detach and venture off on his own exercising any free will in the matters of men. **_

_**Why this, why now?" Seth tried to rationalize but all he kept coming up with was more **_

_**questions, no answers. He reached out and accepted the piece of manna Embry had held out for **_

_**him. "Um, milk and honey. Nothing can compare to this flavor. I'm grateful for the treat!"**_

"_**We have miles to go before she sleeps, shield her tightly and don't let the minor imps anywhere **_

_**near her ears. She doesn't need further torment tonight. Her memories will be enough to do **_

_**that job without further interference from the enemy." Embry often thought out loud and he **_

_**braced his hands tightly over her ears while Seth pushed back the two imps, who were **_

_**responsible for filling her with self-hatred and picked away at her vibrant light.**_

It was a very long route that I chose to come up from behind the store instead of the main street. Nearly another thirty minutes to reach the back side area of the hardware store. Every hair on my neck and arms stood straight up. I parked the bike between an over grown privet hedge bush and the back corner wall of the building and I made my way up the sidewalk careful to stay in the shadows and hidden as I tried to not make a sound. I heard faint voices and music and didn't know what I should do, but I had to see if there was anyone near my truck.

My back was against the wall and I slowly side stepped one inch at a time, still under the protection of the black night shadows. I reached the edge of the building and let my back slump down the side of the wall into a crouch. I held my breath, said a quick prayer and shifted my head around the corner to survey the scene.

Huh, I let out a sigh of relief. My truck was still cranked, radio on and just sitting there, no one in sight, just as I had left it. I backed myself up the wall and cautiously edged around the corner to the front of the hardware store and as soon as my body was in front of my truck, I bolted for the door, tore it open, jumped in and locked the door, turned off the lights and put the truck in reverse.

My terrified system looked all around the interior and found nothing out of order, even my purse was still in place. No boogie man in the back, no lunatic, no driver, nothing, I was safe for the moment. I pulled out of the parking lot and decided to take a long route through the backside of town to go home. It only took a few blocks to be on roads with less beaten paths. I ran into no one on the roads and looked at the tiny clock on my dash that said it was now thirty minutes past midnight. I had to get home, I needed solitude, and I needed to see if I was still bleeding, how bad my gashes were. I didn't dare look in the rear view mirror at myself, I would start the deep soundless sobs of heaving again, and a feeling I could not allow myself at this time.

Within fifteen minutes, I was pulling into the driveway of my home. I looked around the yard and there were no signs that anything was out of the ordinary. My Mom would be home in nearly two hours, I had no time to waste.

"_**CIAS, of all the idiotic things I have ever heard come out of you THIS is the FINAL straw! You have completely acted outside of the consortium of the Zodial Malfeasant. Have you no idea what being bound in chains and banished to the abyss prematurely is like?" Alec spat the words as he invaded the personal space between himself and Cias. His eyes bulged as he contemplated how to reverse this monstrosity. Not many in the course of time have dared to usurp their own will in veering off the prescribed course for a territorial individual under their domain. No one would dare. It was the most absolute law of their Prince Aro. It was how he kept order and organized the entire realm. To let ever imp, every lower demon, every decan principle, every midlevel and high ranking member of the fallen run amuck would create chaos. Creating chaos yes, but through an other-unworldly design. A masterful design. **_

I climbed out of the truck, wrenching from the pain and locked all the doors before moving as swiftly as I could manage to the door with keys in hand. I fumbled out of nervousness just a little and managed to unlock the knob. I pushed the door open in a fury and flew inside the house, turned and shut the door and locked it back and the deadbolt and turned on the kitchen light. I hated this place, it was a torture chamber for a prisoner of war, but at this moment in time, it was sheer refuge, and even though it was far from a safe environment, it was safe for the moment. It was all I needed, all I could ask for.

I made my way to my room gathering my robe, clean underwear, and my small bag of toiletries. Carefully, I turned and shot out of the room without looking in the mirror. I couldn't bear that vision, not now. Acting quickly was my objective, surveying the damage was the priority and covering the evidence was the necessity.

I forged ahead into the bath room, locking the door behind me. I gingerly unzipped and removed the camouflage coveralls and let them slide to the floor and pool at my feet. I stepped out and saw my blood splattered legs with dried, crusted blood for the first time. My arms, my stomach, my face, my hair, every single inch of my body were either covered with bruises, blood or cuts and scrapes it seemed. I smelled of feces and urine and blood and bodily fluids that all together conjured up the most vile scent of well, to be simply put – it smelled and definitely looked like I had been brutally and forcefully raped. I didn't see constant pouring of fresh blood, so I had assumed my gashes had clotted at this point, I had no idea how much I had lost, but if felt like way more than probably was actual.

I knelt on the floor by the tub and inserted the plug and turned on the hot and cold water faucets. I let the steam fill my head and listened to the sound of the water for the longest time it seemed. I wanted no significant thought, only to wash away the memories of the night, wash the dirtiness away, wash away the filth, the defiling degradation. I wanted to find myself restored, cleansed, reversed, but no matter how much hot water covered my sore and torn body, no matter how much soap washed away the outer evidence of the evenings morbid turn of events, I was still filthy and defiled. I was pushed way past the point of breaking now. I hated the weak door mat I saw in the mirror. _She_ was a weak target, a gutless wonder and the disgust washed over my entire being as I was reminded of all my short coming characteristics that were loathsome to me.

_**As Bella took in the full view of the wreckage of her body, Seth moved closer and wrapped his **_

_**arms around her tightly. She would only feel a mild amount of comfort. "Child you are **_

_**Bella shed, you are loved, you are strong, you will survive and you will overcome." The words **_

_**filled with life rolled off his tongue and wrapped around her heart, only the vines of disbelief **_

_**were too strong and they choked out nearly all the warmth intended to comfort her aching soul. **_

I soaked for at least an hour, scrubbing, crying, scrubbing and scrubbing my skin. I ached, I was sore to the touch, swollen and simply battered. When the water began to cool off, I decided it was time for me to get out. I toweled off and toweled my hair dry, as it was going to get, and picked up the coveralls and my paraphernalia and walked to my room. I hid the coveralls in a sack in the back of my closet. I pulled on my underwear and a warm pair of pjs and my robe and brushed my hair.

I returned to the bathroom one last time to brush my teeth and take care of human necessities. Once done with every preamble need, I flicked on my TV set and turned the volume down low and pulled back the covers on my bed and I crawled in. The horizontal feeling was overwhelming; I was warm, safe in bed for the moment. This was a small piece of paradise.

_**Cias looked at his talons and raised an eyebrow. Then he straightened his posture in a military parade rest stance and directed his boastful speech in response to Alec, explaining all that he had undertaken and how successful his lone efforts had been. There were some parts of the tale he left out, the parts that involved Embry's troops arrival on the scene. He merely emphasized his role in the effective manipulation of the driver and the lunatics mind. He gloated at the sheer ingenious he had exhibited in the bait and switch ploy he had successfully used to bring this child to the brink of death. The scars it will leave on her heart, in her mind, in her body "should" she survive and if she did indeed die then the removal of her would be a monumental reason to celebrate. **_

"_**So, you see my Prince, I've committed no atrocity. I was merely coming to the aid of the 1**__**st**__** Principle Decan who has not demonstrated any progress in her derailment." Cias ended his pleading and bragging rights with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. **_

_**Alec could feel jolts of anger race through his veins. He closed what precious little distance there was left between them and got right up in his face and menacingly asked, "Are you sure that is all there is to the nights events Cias? Need I remind you that the penalty for falsifying a report and leaving out pertinent details is a treasonous affair? Come now Cias. Her stone has glowed with an intensely blinding light all night. Something else or someone else must have been involved to cause such an incident to occur. Think back, heed my warning … have you forgotten anything that you would like to share with me now? I'll damn you to the abyss, I swear I will**__."_

"Father, can you hear me? _I spoke aloud in an empty house_. Why did you allow this to happen to me? I don't mean to sound unappreciative for still being alive but why? Where were you? Why didn't you stop this from happening to me if you love me? I'm sorry Father, I'm confused, I'm scared and alone. I can't think right now and I don't want to seem ungrateful. Just please keep me safe, help me heal and please don't let me be pregnant. Help me sleep, help me … just help me please." I couldn't think right now, my mind was spinning replaying the events over and over… it had to stop. This was a stone, a very big stone thrown at me tonight. Intended to cripple me or kill me but a boulder of a stone none the less. I had a choice, I could rehearse it or I could reverse it. I could let this stone be my tomb stone or I could use it as my stepping stone, it would be solely my choice.

_**Peace child. I never left you. I did stop them from taking your life. I love you, just trust me.**_

As my mind began to settle, I focused on the television screen. It was a small thirteen inch black and white model with lots of snow from the poor reception of the channel, our cable coverage wasn't the best. Some things in life maybe coincidence, but this was the beginning of a defining moment. I tried forcing myself into sleep but my eyes were wide open. A very late night airing of _Gone with the Wind_ was airing and I found myself engulfed. I had always loved the movie for its pageantry and dress designs. I had romantic notions about long gowns and bows biding for the affection of a southern belle. Within ten minutes, I was watching the _As God As My Witness_ scene. I saw a woman stand against all odds. Out of the ashes stood a strong determined Scarlett O'Hara characterized to take charge of her destiny. Change her course at will and prove to be strong as nails, beautiful as royalty and embody the courage of a lion. She had it all, and the dashing Rhett Butler. It was that night and at that moment that I fell in love with the defiant, take no nonsense side of her character. I wanted to be full of life, not trucking what others thought, but doing my own thing and doing it my way. She was everything I would need to become in order to survive. I fell asleep before my Mom returned from work and dreamt of Scarlett's iron strength, dreamed that I too could make choices to preserve myself, and seize all life had to offer with gusto. I wish that described me, I'd never thought about the fact that I could change at will who I was. "Who I was" still needed defining. I was ready to carve out a new person in stone going forward. Tomorrow is another day, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. I would think about that tomorrow, if I thought about it tonight, I would go mad as a March Hare!


End file.
